Question Talkers

“He’s a Question Talker”

You’ve heard them. You may even be one. It’s one of those things, those personality traits, or quirks, or inclinations; or whatever you want to call it that people either have or they don’t have. They either are one or they aren’t one. No, in the realm of question talker there is no gray area. Just like Kevin Cronin warbled in “157 Riverside Avenue” let me give you an example; let me give you an example.
Mike Golic is pissed off and letting the world know about it on Mike and Mike in the morning. Now if you are watching the show on TV you may very well think he’s pissed because of the way he looks in that hideous short-sleeved mock turtleneck. I know, I know. The previous evening in a heated NBA playoff game the Pistons in bounded the ball after either a time-out or a courtside tattoo break. “Hurry up dude, hit me with the ink, just make up some deep shit and script me man, do it!”
Anyway, the Pistons have the ball and for some reason the clock doesn’t start. Chauncey Billups hits a three pointer and the Pistons take the lead at the end of the third quarter. When this miscarriage of justice is brought to the attention of the referee’s they look at each other, scratch their Asses and say, “Yeah, uh, that play took about 4.6 seconds so yeah, the shot counts.”
That stellar little spot of officiating is why Golic is torqued, though the god-awful shirt should at least irritate him. Now comes in the question talking, “Do I think they should have taken the points off the board? Yes. Do I think they should have gone back to the end of the court and replayed that little bit of action? Yes.”
You see. Question talking, I myself call it the self-interview. Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer however, called it question talking, and who the hell am I to thumb my nose at cultural icons.
“Hey Golic, listen.”
“I think they should have taken the points off the board and replayed that little bit of action.”
Nice. Articulate. Intelligent. Is it just me? No I’m not question talking here I want to know. Is it just me? Has the frequency of the self-interview, sorry Elaine, increased or am I hyper vigilant. It’s not only sportscasters, common people do it too. Let me give you an example; let me give you an example.
“Hey John Your new shingles look nice.”
“Thanks!” John yells back at his neighbor Smiling Bob. Yeah that one. “Do I think it looks nice? Yes. Would I do it again naked in the heat of the day? No.”
See what I mean. “Hey John listen.”
“Yeah, it does look nice, but I wouldn’t do it again naked in the heat of the day.”
Nice and neighborly, and you sound so much more intelligent.